Protecting Our Homeland

by politeobserver

Are we doing all we can to protect our nation’s borders?

I for one think that we must protect our nation, with its 2000-year-long history of democracy and freedom, from the positively threatening influence of foreign ideas and morals. Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against foreigners–it’s only the non-American ones that I see as inimical to our way of life. It may sound like a slippery-slope argument, but ask yourself this–will there come a time when Americans have no place in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, birthplace of One of America’s Founding Fathers, Jesus Christ?

People have suggested that we build a security fence to keep out those who do not belong in a nation like ours. Proposals vary from short stretches dividing the most populated regions along our border, to a complete barrier from one end of the border to the other. Like so:


Even a six-year-old kid can see what’s wrong with this plan, (especially if the kid went to school in Korea or some other place where they take education seriously). It does not do enough to protect America from undesirables. Think about it: Imagine people coming to America from their backward, badly managed places of origin. Oh, they say they want to come and work, but the next thing you know, they are having kids, clogging up the drive-thrus, causing the property values in our trailer parks to decline, and winning all the lotteries.They will work for cash because where they are from wages are low, and people do not respect government. Want to compete with them? Plus, they are almost impossible to understand when they speak. But that is not the true danger…

The true danger is that these people have absolutely no understanding of the true American values. Where they come from their legislatures enact laws that are absolutely contrary to everything that is good and fine about America.

Thus I present MY proposal for America’s Security Fence:

As you can see, this would more properly protect Our Nation, the birthplace of Thomas Paine, Alexander Hamilton, and Lionel Jefferson. No longer would we have to explain to our children about “Why are those people talking so funny?” “Why are they throwing bottles out of their truck?” or “Are they really gonna shoot us?”

Of course, the aforementioned bright Korean kid could also spot that the cost of such a barrier would be much, much higher than the original plan. (He’d probably also give you the exact factor of increase, the little show-off). So here is my revised plan:


As you can see, this plan will let people all through the USA–nay, the entire continent–sleep more peacefully.

Especially those who are not straight white males…